If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
