Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
