I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
