hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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