So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
