He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize