Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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