They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
