I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
