who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
