I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
