Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
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the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
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But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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