That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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