I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
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It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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