dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
