I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize