My room smells like vodka and shame
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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