we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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