Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
