life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
