he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
