She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
