All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
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well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
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I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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