so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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