If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
