It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
