at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize