Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
MIDGETS
????
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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