My nipple is on Facebook.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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