she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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