All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
