it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
