I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize