So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
