Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
