There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
