My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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