You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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