hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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