I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I supernannyed him into submission
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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