Just mADE A PArabola og urine
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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