so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
