he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Less talking, more tequila
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
