Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
