if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I have feelings that need drinking.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
