there's paper in my vomit.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
