sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize