I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
