dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
