You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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