It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
