Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
