I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
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i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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