it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
