I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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