my being single is dangerous.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
