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i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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