obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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