the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
