in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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