how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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