Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
