My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
