maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You were trust falling into bushes
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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