May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
As shirtless as possible
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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