remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
