dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
