LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
