Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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